What Will Happen at a $64K Dinner with Sarah Palin?

So: journalist, writer, and Sarah Palin critic Joe McGinniss was outfoxed in his attempt to bid on a dinner with Sarah Palin by $3,200, bringing the final bid to $63,500. The winner, please?

Ms. Cathy Maples, who hails from Huntsville, Alabama, come on down! You're the next diner on Iron Chef: Wasilla. Maples put in the final bid on Palin's eBay auction for dinner with her; proceeds will go to Ride2Recovery, an organization helping wounded soldiers get by on their way back to a normal existence after getting FUBAR'd because they didn't have the proper resources or infrastructure for their missions laid out for them, often because that money went to private, non-government defense contractors. Like the one Cathy Maples works for!

Other things Ms. Maples could've bid on in the auction include:

Lunch with former Bush aide Karl Rove (which went for $16,000), a "CSI: New York" set experience and party with star Gary Sinise ($4,150), and a Rob Lowe-autographed baseball jersey ($620).

Hm. Between dinner with Palin, lunch with Rove, a party with Sinise, and Sam Seaborne's baseball jersey (?!), tough call. Maples has apparently met Palin twice before, is a huge fan, and is one of many Americans who would like to see Sarah Palin take the presidency. She has to pay for the ride up to Alaska, but can bring four people to dinner.

She says the plan right now is to bring her two grandchildren, 13 and 18 years old, their mother and the 18-year-old's girlfriend.

Functional! A learning experience for all. Maples will be treated to America's Best View of Russia, while McGinniss will write contritely congratulatory letters where he basically writes, HA, you paid all that money to have dinner with Sarah Palin, sucker:

As one of the underbidders, I salute you and congratulate you on winning the dinner with Sarah Palin. I'm pleased that my bids helped increase the total proceeds that will go to our wounded veterans through Ride2Recovery. I wish you the best for your forthcoming trip to Alaska. Although I would have enjoyed the opportunity for a frank exchange of views with Gov. Palin, I'm pleased that someone with your record of accomplishment will grace her table.

Sincerely,
Joe McGinniss

Ah, the menu, though. Might I suggest a Black Truffle Squirrel Soup, served behind a pure Alaskan Mooseburger, topped off by—appropriately—Jeffrey Chodorow's infamous "Baked Alaska" recipe.

The kind of food meant to stimulate an open exchange of ideas about progress, family values, dedication to one's post, and of course, the children of children. $64K well spent, Ms. Maples. It's no entry into Conde Nast's Orangina-barren cafeteria, but it'll do. It'll do.