What do you do if you're a former fashion writer serving 18-to-life in prison for drugging, and sexually assaulting a former colleague of yours for 13 hours one crazy Halloween? Write lengthy missives to the New York Post, obviously.
Because, you know, they will publish them! Or selections from them anyway. No one wants to transcribe all seven handwritten pages of crazy.
"There's another incentive or two for staying in the game, namely, Season 3 of 'Gossip Girl,' " says the suicidal, stir-crazy sex fiend in a seven-page, handwritten letter to The Post.
"But still I ask myself: Sure, it's probably going to be great, but is 'Gossip Girl' in and of itself reason enough to stay alive? We'll see."
This fucking guy! Hand-writing Gossip Girl recaps from prison! It's like some overrated black comic novelist invented him for a novel about the dark soul of the young New York media scene. (Do people write those anymore?)