Sep 22, 2009 01:33 PM
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Hollywood, 8:32 AM
Wed Feb 10
56 posts in the last 24 hours
Those sparks are courtesy of Georgina Sparks, who made her triumphant return last night to lay low the once mighty Blair Waldorf. As all the kids start at college, the power is all out of whack, with some unlikely victors.
Who ever thought that Queen Bee Blair wouldn't be able to get the Kansas transplants and NYU freshmen under her spell in no time flat? And who thought that Dan Humphrey would become the big man on campus? And who thought that Serena would drop out of school before she even went to the first day of classes? Knowing how stupid Serena is, you could actually see that one coming, but the rest of the action was a shock, including the return of the most powerful woman on the UES. No, not Georgina—Dorota!
1. Georgina:
Personality Flaw: Lost Jesus: +3
Social Schemes: Her plan to destroy Blair by being her roommate is working: +4, Ruins Blair's sushi party: +4, Shakes Blair's confidence by calling her a "loser who won't fit in": +2,
Fashion Points: Wants to hang up a tacky dorm room tapestry: -4, Is doing it ironically to annoy the hell out of Blair: +8, For some reason is dressing like her parents lowered the limit on her credit card and she can only afford Forever 21 and sale items at Anthropologie: -5, Is buying The Prince in the bookstore: +1
Power Play: Tells Dan he's being used by Blair: +1
Sexual Intrigue: Has her claws into BMOC Dan's massive manarms: +6
Total: 20
Season to Date: 20
Power Position: Up
2. Dan:
Power Play: Disses Georgina in the bookstore: +2, Is the hit of the NYU literary crowd: +3
Personality Flaw: Apologizes to Vanessa, even though she was a total bitch to him: -1, Apologizes so Georgina for dissing her in the bookstore even though the last time they met she lied to him to get back at Serena: -2
Fashion Points: Still eats Eggos: -1, Serves Serena Eggos: -2, Covers up his glorious new man arms all episode: -1, Takes Blair's headband: +3
Social Schemes: Has Blair's social fate in his hands: +2, Ruins Blair's plan to ruin Georgina's party: +10, Does so in the spirit of social equality: -1, Makes a conscious effort to be on top of the social heap: +6
Sexual Intrigue: Falls into Georgina's honey trap: -5
Total: 13
Season to Date: 14
Power Position: Up
3. Dorota:
Power Play: Wasn't fired now that Blair's in college: +4, Knows how to put a restraining order on someone: +6, Blair's station has fallen: -3
Fashion Points: Uniform is crisp as ever: +1, Knows the hippest sushi place in town: +2
Total: 9
Season to Date: 9
Power Position: Up
4. Blair
Social Schemes: Tries taking over the girls in her dorm with gift bags and put downs: +1, The plan backfires: -3, Throws a sushi and saketini party: +2, No one shows: -8, Has to grovel to Dan to get an invite to Georgina's party: -4, Ruins the party with a Christian invasion, +10, Gets bested by Dan and everyone stays at the party: -12
Fashion Points: Has her dorm room completely designed in 7 seconds flat: +2, Dan takes her headband of power: -1, Gets a compliment on her necklace at the party: +3, But the rest of the outfit...: -4
Power Play: Can get a roof full of NYU students on the list at Monkey Bar: +8, Ends up back on "The Steps": -2, Still has a strong ally in Serena: +1
Total: -7
Season to Date: -1
Power Position: Down
5. Chuck:
Fashion Points: Wears purple to continue to piss off his dead father: +3, Eats Eggos at Rufus': -1
Power Play: Wants to open a speakeasy, is apparently lost in 2004: -2, Gets thwarted by stupid Serena twice: -4
Quip: "The only queens at NYU have tickets to see Liza at Carnegie Hall": +2
Total: -2
Season to Date: -4
Power Position: Even
6. Nate:
Fashion Points: Looks good with his shirt off: +3
Sexual Intrigue: Lets his stupid new girlfriend keep him out of the action for the whole episode: -4, She disses her family for him: +1
Total: 0
Season to Date: -5
Power Position: Even
7. Rufus:
Power Play: Both Serena and Dan are out of the house: -2, Misses chance to influence Serena, because he's scared of Lily: -1, Eventually lands on Serena's side: +1
Personality Flaw: Seems to have misplaced his younger daughter, Whatshername: -5
Total: -7
Season to Date: -5
Power Position: Down
8. "Scott"
Family Secrets: No one has figured out who he really is: +2, Almost gets his cover blown by some inconsequential girl at a rooftop party: -10
Sexual Intrigue: Seems to actually be falling for Vanessa: -5
Personality Flaw: Showing signs of being completely wacko: -2
Total: -15
Season to Date: -5
Power Position: Down
9. Serena:
Personality Flaw: Too stupid to go to college: -10
Fashion Points: That blue dress!: +3
Power Play: Ruins Chuck's deal by being stupid: -1, Calls Rufus out for being whipped by Lily: +1
Social Schemes: Ruins Chuck's deal by being bitchy: +5
WTF: Is essential wandering around New York crashing at people's apartments like she's a homeless person or doesn't have an Amex with an astronomical limit: -4
Sexual Intrigue: Calls up Carter for help: -1, Continues to sleep with him, even though he is not helping her in the brains department: -2
Total: -9
Season to Date: -15
Power Position: Down
10. Vanessa:
Fashion Points: Still has a slight lady dread hair situation that needs addressing: -3, Was she wearing acid-washed booty shorts?: -5
Personality Flaw: Still whiny: -2
Power Play: Befriends Georgina and reaps the benefits: +4, People actually watch her stupid movie: +1
Social Schemes: Persuades Dan to ruin Blair's plan: +4
Sexual Intrigue: Is still brainwashed by "Scott" and his tender, tender lips: -3
Total: -4
Season to Date: -22
Power Position: Up
11. Jenny:
Power Play: Doesn't even get name checked all episode. Did her her little gay minion Eric kidnap her for an evening out at Campus Thursdays Splash and they got trapped in the bathroom for three days?: -20
Total: -20
Season to Date: -31
Power Position: Down
12. Lily:
Fashion Points: Still hasn't recovered from her "rejuvenating" trip: -20
Power Play: Even though she's gone, Serena and Rufus are scared of what she thinks: +5
Total: -15
Season to Date: -32
Power Position: Even
Send an email to Brian Moylan, the author of this post, at brian@gawker.com.
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