Pitching a Fit Over Gaddafi's Trump Tent ErectionS

So, Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has come to America to spread his brand of terrifying love. But no one wants to host him. How sad! But, wait, Donald Trump's company has some space and is let him pitch a tent!

For those of you keeping track of Gaddafi's expeditions, he originally tried to erect a tent in New Jersey, but those plans were squashed. Then he tried to book a room in New York's ritzy Pierre Hotel. No madmen allowed, however, so now he's trying to set up camp at a Bedford, New York, estate owned by Donald Trump's company. The town's supreme leaders have halted the tent's construction, but can't suspend the sensational coverage.

Of course the cable news networks are all over this scandal and CNN even brought in a man whose brother died in the Lockerbie Pan Am bombing, a bombing that has been given new life after the recent release of Libyan spy Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi from prison. Fine, yes, we're all angry. Gaddafi's a lunatic who deserves an international cold shoulder. Yet, here we are, a nation absolutely gripped by his visit. And that's exactly what he wants.

This whole thing's really quite the meeting of the media whores. Gaddafi loves attention. In fact, he lives for it, and has been basking in weeks of news coverage about his visit, the first time he's graced our nation with his maniacal presence in four decades. Trump has a preternatural adoration for media sensation and though his company has distanced itself from the happenings — apparently the property's being rented to a Middle Eastern company — this connection no doubt pleases the boss man, whose appetite for headlines knows no bounds.

While certainly Gaddafi has had a hand in terrible attacks in the past, he's largely a joke. He tried to take over the African Union and failed. He's unpopular in his country and his once-mighty fist looks more like a limp wrist. The outrage surrounding his visit only bolsters Gaddafi's image as an international man of terror, an image better left to some other visiting dignitaries, like that Iranian guy. What's his name?

Eh, no matter — these people are like Freddy Krueger: turn your back on them and they cease to exist. Presto! World peace.