We're in a bit of a cranky mood looking over this weekend's releases. A lot of heat but not much light, is the vibe we're getting. Actually maybe not that much heat either. But hey, Sorority Row is still playing.


The Story: Two astronauts wake up on a space ship to find they can not remember why they are there. And a monster is attacking them.
The Pitch: Alien meets Momento
Who It's For: Screamers; people with other things they can do during the movie.
Cause for Hope: Remarkably, stars Dennis Quaid; films set on a space ship get an automatic gentleman's C.
Cause for Concern: Produced by Paul WS Resident Evil Anderson.
Residual Cause for Hope: Produced by not directed by Anderson
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 2

SURROGATES trailer in HD

The Story: In the future, people live life through robot versions of themselves. But when someone starts killing the robots, future cop Bruce Willis must investigate.
The Pitch Westworld meets Streets of San Francisco
Who It's For: Nerds who like to dream about having sex with robots.
Cause for Hope: Director Jonathan Mostow helmed that better-than-expected Terminator 3.
Cause for Concern: You've probably seen every single frame of this film in four to twelve other movies.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 3

The Story: The kids of Performing Arts High dare to dream.
The Pitch: Fame meets High School Musical
Who It's For: Every aspiring dance crew in America.
Cause for Hope: Stars So You Think You Can Dance's Kherington Payne.
Cause for Concern: The sound of Bruno Martelli and Alan Parkers' ghosts crying out in agony will haunt your dreams forever.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 7 (It's the song. We can't help ourselves.)

Capitalism: A Love Story
The Story: That lovable cut-up Michael Moore is back, this time poking fun at everyone's favorite economic paradigm: capitalism.
The Pitch::Michael Moore meets Michael Moore with a bit of Michael Moore thrown in for good measure.
Who It's For: The already converted.
Cause for Hope: If this is your cup of tea, your cup will runneth over.
Cause for Concern: The hammer fell off the sledgehammer Moore uses to write his jokes.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 5

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men
The Story: A researcher decides to study mens' desires in a series of taped interviews.
The Pitch: My Dinner With Andre meets High Fidelity
Who It's For: People who like to be seen thinking big thoughts.
Cause for Hope: It can't actually last forever.
Cause for Concern: David Foster Wallace, the big screen version! The Office's Jim trying to outrun his day job. Did he mention he went to Brown?
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 2

Coco Before Chanel
The Story: Headstrong young Coco dreams of shaking up fashion.
The Pitch:: La Vie en Rose meets Devil Wears Prada
Who It's For: Those who like to swoon to period design.
Cause for Hope: Looks harmlessly charmante.
Cause for Concern: Isn't this why God invented made for cable movies?
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 5

I Hope The Serve Beer in Hell
The Story: The adventures of internet cretin Tucker Max
The Pitch:: Porkys meetsa snuff film purchased for three dollars out of a box on the sidewalk in the East Village
Who It's For: The aspiring date rapist next door.
Cause for Hope: This will almost certainly be the end of Tucker Max's film career.
Cause for Concern: You will still share a Universe with him.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 0