Regulators! Mount. Up. Warren G got interviewed by Eric Spitznagel (Read: NILLA) for Vanity Fair. Spitznagel's interviewed lots of celebrities for lots of Nilla publications (The Believer, anyone?) and is a likable writer. But he'll remember this for a while:
I don't know how many rappers (or black guys, period) Spitznagel's interviewed, but surely he doesn't talk to all of them like this, seriously or not:
During the 90s, you were rapping about "Money, cars, bitches, and drugs." What have you cut back on because of the recession? The cars? The bitches? The drugs?
All that been cut out of my lifestyle. I'm not really trippin' on that shit anymore.
Surely you keep a bitch or two around the crib just for old time's sake.
It ain't like that. You get older and realize you gotta mature....
But hits without bitches or one of them bouncy cars, doesn't it feel kinda hollow?
Naw, man, it's played out. I got four kids and one kid on the way.
Could it get worse? Yes, it could. And it does:
From Madoff to AIG, it doesn't seem like there's anybody we can trust. In this financial climate, does it make more sense to invest in Citigroup or the Crips?
Oh, hell no! Invest in the Crips? That's crazy, man!
So you think the Bloods are a better investment?
Neither one of them! You don't wanna get involved in any of that!
As Rap Radar succinctly put it: What kind of asinine question is that to ask a father of four? But Eric seems to develop a nice rapport with Mr. G, as evidenced by a dumb joke at the end involving sounding out "bleach" like "bleeotch" and Warren G supposedly laughing at it. Better question, though: what kind of answer is this for someone who's supposed to be, you know, as an artist: progressive?
I mean, I ain't against the gays or nothin'.
Wait, what? You had me until the "I ain't against the gays" part.
I ain't against gay people. I'm just against it being promoted to kids.
I'm sorry, I don't follow. What does the recession have to do with gay propaganda?
I know people that's gay. My wife's got friends that are gay. I got family that's gay. Cousins and shit. He cool as fuck. He cool as a motherfucker. He's my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got dudes kissing. And kids are watching that shit. We can't have kids growing up with that.
So you've got a "pot leads to heroin" theory about Hollywood homosexuality? Today there are men kissing on network TV, and tomorrow Grey's Anatomy is all about mouth rape?
I know it happens, but let's keep it behind the scenes. Ain't nothin' wrong with it if that's what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that's not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don't want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain't how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain't got no problem with the gays.
Ah, well then: Gays are fine, so long as we keep them "behind the scenes." Like, African Americans—who also didn't choose the color of their skin—are fine, so long as we keep them "behind the scenes?" Yeah, that would fly. Like all the weed you smoked on the Up In Smoke tour? Or any number of the shady criminal activities you've rapped about being involved in? Whatever. Rappers are still homophobic. Funny, because it's been long spoken that one of the most revered amongst their ranks—and one especially close to Warren G—swings the other way. Easy-E seemed to think so.
Eazy-E accused Dr. Dre of homosexual tendencies, calling him a "she thang", and the music video for "Real Muthaphuckkin G's" shows promo pictures of him wearing make-up and a sequined jumpsuit.
So did Tupac:
I could care less whether or not Dr. Dre's gay. He's still the best rap producer alive, and could still kick the shit out everyone I know. But I guess the rap community would, or does.
No punchline. It just sucks. Here's a good Warren G song: