Starbucks Bets It All on Hobo Coffee

We know you luv Starbucks. But Starbucks has problems. McDonald's is stealing its customers. Iconic stores are shutting down. Teenagers are planting bombs, workers are slowing down, and management's flirting with Communism. Today, Starbuck's salvation arrives: instant coffee. Uh, lowbrow.

Sorry Starbucks but we're pretty sure the Olsen twins and Anna Wintour are not gonna be too enthusiastic about drinking some Sanka type shit, what are they, auto repairpersons???

Starbucks' whole sales pitch here: It tastes the same as our regular coffee, but it's way cheaper and you don't have to go to a Starbucks for it. Bad move.

"We're convinced a majority of people won't be able to tell the difference," said Mr. Schultz, who explained that he has secretly been serving Via to people at his office and home for months and that they haven't realized they were drinking instant coffee.

Starbucks Bets It All on Hobo Coffee

1. Well, no reason to pay Starbucks prices now, hmm? Why don't we all just carry our personal hobo cups, fished out of the trash, and heat water in a sardine tin, with a Bic lighter, and mix it with our Starbucks Hobo Coffee Crystals? Sounds good? God.

2.Physical danger.

[Pic: Flickr, Flickr]