The government has a lot going on right now, but that doesn't mean it's too busy for matters of the heart. That's why one of its virtual offspring set up a scheme to get you a ring, or die trying.

The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, a "clearinghouse" spawn of the Department of Health and Human Services, earlier this year launched the Twoofus.org, a multimedia campaign it hopes will spark "a national conversation about marriage among 18-30 year-olds" and "increase confidence that marriage is a viable option." Sounds sexy.

So, how can you survive the "daunting" dating game and tie yourself down? Here are some things to remember...

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• You are not that interesting. Sure, Two of Us has plenty of mom-approved advice — "Remember to have fun!" — but there are loads of other helpful tips. First, the Feds suggest you stop talking about yourself: "Everyone loves talking about themselves, so ask questions." Now — and this is important — make sure your inquiries aren't about "controversial" topics like politics and religion. "Instead, talk about lighter subjects such as your favorite sports, favorite movies, books, hobbies, what you do for work, or where you've recently traveled." Small talk: the foundation of a great relationship. But 21st century dates, of course, are more than just chit-chat, right? Image via Plasticbag's flickr.
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• Male or female, sluts aren't marriage material. Though Two of Us doesn't want to stress "moral standards" and knows kids these days are having sex, it does insist you don't act like a downright hoochie: "If you are feeling good chemistry, end with a kiss and let your date know that you can't wait to see him/her again." And here we thought second-base, at least, was proper etiquette. Thanks, government! Image via NickStarr's flickr.
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• Don't be a psycho. Not only does the site remind us all that desperation isn't a turn on, it also points out that you should not, under any circumstances, demand your potential mate put you on their schedule: "Don't try to set ground rules for how often he/she needs to call you, either." That just makes you look like you have no friends, which may be the case, but don't let your partner know that until you've already duped/drugged him/her into loving you.
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• Don't get murdered. Now this is good advice — if you're doing the online dating thing, or even if you're not, make sure the person isn't a serial killer who will eat your brain. If they are, meet them in public.
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• No one likes a cheap woman. Yeah, the man's supposed to pull out chairs, hold doors and pay for dinner, but the government thinks you girls need to at least pretend you're willing to throw down a buck: "It is always courteous to offer to split the bill and be gracious if he declines." Wait! How do the gays deal with this? Eh, it doesn't matter: they don't go on dates. Or marry. Image via vanderwal's flickr. Now, thanks to these helpful tips, you're in happy marriage land. What's next? Babies! Get cracking!

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