Young Sulzberger Hunts a Sniper!

Heir to the New York Times throne A "To the Muthafuckin G" Sulzberger, The Younger, has been sent out into a virtual urban war zone! People are being shot (with BBs) all over Alphabet City. To the projects, AG!

Just like all young princes must prove themselves in battle before they can assume the kingdom's crown, AG is continually being dumped in gritty urban precincts in which most manicured Ivy League NYT staffers would fear to tread. A "street" basketball arena unregulated by qualified referees! The Puerto Rican day parade, full of Puerto Ricans! And the midst of Manhattan's fruit stand wars—which probably also involves minorities! Now comes his most dangerous assignment of all: to travel into the part of Alphabet City where the projects are, and—using journalism—talk to the people there about how some dude is shooting BBs out of the window all the time, and whether they like that, or not.

"Everybody here is scared now," Primo Dlmn from Morocco said on Tuesday while selling Lemonhead candy and cigarettes at a bodega in the middle of the block. "I think he's crazy," said one customer standing outside who declined to give her name.

It's not just any reporter who will not just boldly venture inside that one annoying bodega that only sells Lemonheads and cigarettes, but will also—on the way out—talk to the lady outside.

We're just being jerks! A.G., we like the rugged cut of your jib. Let's go pimping some time. Email us.