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Which of These 6 Perversely Fascinating YouTube Memes Speaks to the Darkness of Your Soul?

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Bridal Party Spin on Celeb Chef Todd English's Bride-Stiffing, Cold-Footed "No-Show" at the Altar

Last night, we hear that celebrity chef Todd English stood up his bride-to-be at the altar, has been in Florida the last three days, and was never going to show. This morning, the New York Post runs the story. How?

First, let's look at our tip:

Tonight Todd English stood up his would-be wife at the altar, essentially. Apparently he has been in Florida the last three days and never showed up at the wedding that was tonight at the St. Regis. However, since the wedding was already paid for by Todd himself, the bride decided to still party it up. She looked to be taking it really well and spent the night dancing. Todd's family stayed too. - Anonymous

Note the no-mention of the bride's name, the inability to really point fingers at anybody, but, okay, Todd stood his wife up, we get it. The Post opens their report like this:

The wedding's off, but the party's on. Celebrity chef Todd English split with his gorgeous bride-to-be, Erica Wang, just days before their wedding, but the raven-tressed beauty still enjoyed a party fit for a king in the top-floor ballroom of a swank Midtown hotel last night — on her former flame's dime.

Emphasis mine. That's pretty nice of the Post, no? Mind you: this is the same paper for whom STAB BABY is all in a day's work. Okay, well then. There's this, too:

"Everybody is having a fantastic time," said a source. "People are dancing their butts off."

Benefit of the doubt: your marriage falls apart at the last minute, you need cheering up, and you decide to go ahead with the party anyway because everyone flew in. The party probably was awesome: there's no better reason to get drunk than learning that your life has, yet again, not turned out the way you thought it was going to a few days ago. How many days ago?

The nuptials were originally scheduled for June 1, according to the couple's Tiffany registry.

And again, benefit of the doubt: that could've just been an original registry date, made years ago before they even had the actual date of the wedding planned (and I'll have to defer to Phyllis Nefler on this, but how many women have their bridal registries picked out before they even set a date? Dollars to donuts: they're not a rare kind...). But how many times can one reschedule a wedding? Warning signs, anyone?

As mentioned, I've reached out to Bridal Correspondent Bridal Correspondent Phyllis Nefler for the assist on this one.

WTF, Phyllis? Essplain.
I mean really, I can't stop thinking about when Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson on the eve of her "Ken and Barbie" themed birthday party. Privately she must have been grieving, but her Twitter said otherwise.

But this sounds rather pre-meditated.
The Florida for the past 3 days thing is the creepy part. Did they break up over the phone? Via text?

Exactly. Questions! But why's the bridal party working the story in the press so hard? Is there an Eat Pray (Prey) Love book deal in the making?
I wonder who catered the reception. At the very least, she should definitely be angling for a sympathetic profile in Glamour. Or can an interview in Page Six Magazine be far behind? Paging Joshua David Stein...The article says that he is 48. How old is she? This is important for determining Next Steps.

But there is spin on behalf of the bride here, right?
The gist of the item is pretty favorable to her, but on the other hand "a divorced father of three who has been engaged twice before" ... warning signs, Erica Wang. Warning signs. I came away from reading this not sure what to believe or who to judge.

Cold feet: they happen.


Send an email to Foster Kamer, the author of this post, at foster@gawker.com.


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more about #toddenglish
Everybody Was Kung-Fu (and Every Other Kind of) Fighting
Jon Gosselin and The Jews: A Match Made In Zion
Todd English's Jilted Bride Called His Kids 'Pigs'
read more: #weddings, #toddenglish, #ericawang, #phyllisnefler, #altarcations, #newyorkpost, #spin
 
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