Kate Gosselin Hires The Lawyer Suing Us For McSteamy Tape To Sue Jon Gosselin

What a small world! Who would've thought? Marty Singer—the lawyer laying into my boss for a cool mil over the McSteamy Tape—would be taking other big-money cases on behalf of sleazy celebrities? Well, he got to Kate Gosselin!

Mind you: this is the same guy who breathlessly reminded the American legal system that Eric Dane is on the Emmy Award-winning Grey's Anatomy in his lawsuit against us for posting a tape of Eric Dane trying to spice up his marriage in a threesome with his now-preggers wife and a madam. Heh. It was awesome. It's here. You should watch it.

Kate Gosselin Hires The Lawyer Suing Us For McSteamy Tape To Sue Jon Gosselin

But now Marty's ready to make a mess out of more people's lives by dragging them through prolonged legal engagements that aggressively create rifts between people with a common purpose: in ours and McSteamy's, to bring stories to The People. In the case of Kate and Jon Gosselin: for the children. Marty Singer is about to fuck up some children.

But it takes three to tango (as we learned). This wouldn't be so awful without the help of Singer's awful client (the child-exploiting Kate Gosselin) and their awful defendant (the sleazy walking Ed Hardy lifestyle line that is Jon Gosselin). These people are awful! Don't they have eight kids somewhere wondering why their parents are being such complete meanies/absentee, hyper-aggressive, moneygrubbing scary breeding units? Because they are. Basically, it goes like this: Jon Gosselin went on Larry King to tell Kate to put the divorce proceedings on hold. He made TLC shut down the production of the show. And sometime before that, took all but $1,000 out of a shared money market account of Kate and Jon's.

Now Kate wants the money back in there. Furthermore, Singer is alleging that Jon's lawyer is a crook.

Singer says Heller has done this before, citing a New York Supreme Court decision which says Heller directed one of his clients in a divorce to "withdraw everything that's in the bank" so the money could be used to pay his fee. And then there's this ... Singer blasts Heller, noting that the New York Supreme Court "addressed charges that you violated 'thirty-eight counts alleging multiple violations of the disciplinary rules,' and charges that you 'had engaged in a pattern of misconduct involving misrepresentations, deceit, abusive treatment of clients, fee gouging, neglect and willful failure to return unearned retainers to his clients' in matters which involved your 'mishandling of the matters of twelve separate clients.'"

Damn. Talk about being able to sniff out your own kind (Ahmadinejad). Lawyers! God bless 'em. Good to know Singer's keeping busy with a client list full of America's most savory famous types. I gotta admit, though, I am curious to hear what Jon intended on doing with the scrilla (besides paying lawyers). Maybe he was broke. Maybe Jon just wanted the money to get in on the next McSteamy key party? Maybe he's gonna invest in web startups, har har! Who knows. Either way, Singer wants a piece of it. Somewhere, eight children hate him.