Joe Biden, Call Your OfficeS

Amtrak is broken today, Rachel Sklar reports, and a lot of poor Twitterers are trapped on trains somewhere between Washington, D.C., and Boston, awaiting rescue and sending out distress "tweets."

Among them is our favorite pundit-manque and Peggy Noonan-interpreter Chris Lehmann, who as of "about three hours ago" was stuck in Baltimore, trying in vain to get to Philadelphia, and passing time by viciously attacking defenseless wealthy people. His wife Ana Marie Cox appears to have reached her destination first, and is frantically looking for a bar in the station, to no avail. Other poor souls report a stuck train that's down to "one working bathroom," and restless noises are being made about "angry riders."

Sklar, citing Twitter reports, deduces that the problem is affecting more than one train on the D.C.-to-Boston route, and lays the blame on an electrical problem in Rhode Island. But a "tweet" from this one guy published after the Amtrak snafu began suggests that the problems are cascading: "Wow. My Acela train hit someone just outside of Philly. Bad luck for everyone. Terrible day for #Amtrak."