Mary Cheney, Dick's Lesbian Daughter, To Have Second Politically Unsavory Child

Well shoot! The Cheney family has been doing so well: Dick's found post-White House life; Liz seems poised to be the GOP's next female star. But now that's all gone to hell because lesbian daughter Mary's having a second baby!

That's right! Despite her lesbianic ways, 40-year old Mary has somehow managed to be impregnated, a fact that will no doubt bring up tension in the Cheney household, which barely survived her first birthing drama.

Though Dick and wife Lynne swear up and down that they love their gay daughter and her equally gay lady, Heather Poe, the conservative set never quite got used to the idea of a carpet muncher procreating.

Focus on the Family patriarch James Dobson wrote a Time piece called "Two Mommies is One Too Many," in which he argued Mary and Heather weren't man enough to raise a child. It was a really classy piece.

Well, naysayers better get used to the idea, because Ms. Mary — who, queerly, has never been photographer with her original tot — will be squeezing out this puppy come mid-November.

Now, perhaps this little bundle will be enough to dissuade granddaddy Dick from considering a White House run...