In Sweden—Sweden!—criminals pull off daring cash depot heists with the aid of helicopters. What are America's baddest gangsters up to? Donut shop scams and fake raffles. Are our criminals going soft, and dumb? Yes.

ITEM: More than 50 members of The Pagans motorcycle gang were arrested in a nationwide sweep yesterday. The crime that crippled the gang's Philly chapter: "a 'raffle' in which members of the Pagans collected cash for raffle tickets for a Harley-Davidson motorcycle." Hey, that's illegal guys.

ITEM: After some false starts, Brooklyn mobsters finally succeed in burning down a Dunkin Donuts using fireworks. They then have to wait nine years for the insurance payout. Which is $15,000. Crime pays, big time.

ITEM: A Pennsylvania woman forges a $50 check and puts it in a church offering plate. Then she steals the wallet of a lady sitting in a nearby church pew. She is later arrested.

What is next, American criminals being jailed for throwing a dog named 'Flash' at a police officer? Let's hope not