Thousands of people lined up for assistance, with some arriving the night before, like a new iPhone was being released, except the opposite. The line went around the block. The Police Gang Unit showed up. A fight broke out.
The city was directing people with additional questions to call 313-224-0316, but no one was answering before calls to that number were automatically disconnected just before noon today.
And here is the part where some stupid, hippy-dippy liberal pantywaist would be like "huh so banks get literally billions with the understanding that eventually they should maybe pay some of it back but we will only help 5,000 human beings pay their electric bills, and only if they get their application in by 2 p.m. today. Crazy!" But, as we said, only someone fat and annoying like Michael Moore would say that.
This kinda takes the shine off that 12th-inning Twins victory, right?