Mark Penn Eats His Own Mom

PR-man-masquerading-as-newspaper-columnist Mark Penn invented the term "Soccer Mom," which, of course, is the queen of all Microtrends. But now he's declaring the whole Soccer Mom thing dunzo! What catchphrase will you hang your hat on now, Señor Penn?

So when you look at the numbers, the heyday of the Soccer Mom is passing. They will continue to exert a measurable influence, but in a world of evolving microtrends, they are on the decline. And on the rise are single, urban workaholics, Internet-junkie empty nesters, and new immigrants taking root.

So, Mark Penn's Trademark Microtrends of The Future:

"Single, urban workaholics"= Alcopops
"Internet-junkie empty nesters"= Masturbating Bears
"New immigrants taking root"= Happenin' Latins

Pay this man one million dollars, at once.
[Pic: Getty]