The Way We Live Now: Just stringing things together until we can get the hell out of here. Out of this terrible recession, we mean. Take it from us—don't drop out of school or be unemployed or in prison.
Who has it harder, really, than NYT columnist Clyde Haberman? Don't believe that current employment at a large media entity means Clyde Haberman is not psychologically battered by this recession. The proof: his latest column is just some sort of limp-wristed attempt to tie the Letterman scandal to the closing of Gourmet and wrap it all in the cloak of Things That Happen During a Recession, That Are Bad. It's the equivalent of doing your homework on the school bus before class.
So, let's see here.... ah yes. A segue: Clyde Haberman, you could have written a column about how scientists found that dropping out of high school drastically increases your chances of being incarcerated! Being black also drastically increases those chances. In a recession like this, American youths have to do the responsible thing: don't drop out of school, and don't be black.
Also you really don't want to be riding the subway this weekend. Trust us. Not unless you're really poor. Which you are, of course, or you'd be busy doing important things rather than reading this. But still—if you have to ride the subway, don't be unemployed.
At a time when imports are tumbling and exports are rising, you have to pick your battles. This economy requires sacrifice. If you're gonna drop out, don't go to jail. If you're gonna go to jail, don't be black. If you're gonna be black, don't be unemployed. And if you're gonna be unemployed, don't be anyone except Tiger Woods, because he can afford to stop golfing whenever he wants.
If we were all Tiger Woods, we wouldn't be in this mess.