Voldemort-Like Pervert Dov Charney Is Coming For Your British Children

It'd appear as though the British press have now discovered the distinct charms of American Apparel founder Dov Charney. The Daily Mail published a fire and brimstone write-around for mass Brit Tabloid Consumption on Donger Dov's unique business practices.

British kids are no different than their American counterparts, right? They love to rebel! And there's no better your-kids-are-in-danger threat than the predatory nature of an American perv. What it represents is far more interesting than the story itself, though: the label's impact on British culture, a full fear profile being the peak of it. As in, this guy is after your kids, be scared. The headline says it all:

Dark side of fashion: The sleazy sexual predator behind High Street store American Apparel

In fact, Barbara Davies' piece is merely a collection of the various complaints and lawsuits that've been filed against Charney over the years here. He's a perv. He's a Canadian, 40, unmarried, no kids. He's a perv. He's had lawsuits filed against him. He's a perv. He's even said terrible things! The best is the Daily Mail's completely lackluster attempt to conceal this as anything other than a strongly worded editorial:

'I frequently drop my pants to show people my new product,' he told Fink in a legal deposition seen by the Mail this week.

So, the Mail learned how to use Google? Behind all of this intrepid reporting, however, is the subtle underlying message that Dov Charney will turn your children into nymphomaniacal Pantone-shirted perverts who will catch diseases like Pokemon in exchange for a pair of leggings and a shot to sleep with this grimy 40 year-old Jewish guy. Not that Dov Charney isn't a complete pervert—he is—and not that American Apparel's message of being a socially responsible company is complete bullshit in the face of Dov's "sexually liberated" practices—it is—but, really?

The Dov Charney Is The Boogieman story is new, and terrifying! If you're really worried about your fifteen year-old kids becoming rapists, focus on their generic-looking t-shirts sold to them by sexually charged advertising conceived by a Jewish guy perpetually slothing through an eternal midlife crisis. Scary. Burn him.

Is there anything ethical about his tawdry advertisements that perpetuate a highly sexualised image of young women in a society facing soaring rates of teen pregnancies and underage sex.

No, not really. Make no mistake, Charney's a gross pervert, but worse than exploiting the sexual insecurites of your kids—which you don't know about—his ads are sexy. Then again, if you want to lead ethics by example, play into the insecurities of your readership's parenting abilities by finding something (rock and roll, weed, skateboards, MySpace) that are surefire indicators of society's conspiracy to completely molest your teens' moral fortitude, brains, and genitalia, and pass it off as news. That'll show 'em.