Publicity Speak Translator: New York Magazine Kisses the Ring and Ass of Page SixS

NY Mag's illustrated Gossipmonger column in the print edition has been running items without credit pulled directly from Page Six, who called up NYM for quote in an awesome item called "Best 'Six' mag has ever had." Their response?

This has to be Serena Torrey:

"We think of it as a reenactment of what's been reported, and not original reporting," a spokeswoman for the magazine told us. "We draw from a variety of sources, but Page Six is the preeminent gossip column, and the place where most of these celebrities play, so it's no surprise that many of these items are drawn from Page Six. We love Page Six."

Note that the item doesn't mention the NYM flack by name. The Post has never had a problem doing it before, but maybe Page Six just doesn't have the space for it. Or they don't want to give her the attention. But! Allow us to "reenact" this underminey, multi-layered quote for you, translated for the general public. The best part is: no thought went into that email or phone conversation! These people work like machines:

We think of it as a reenactment of what's been reported,

You guys, it's a fucking drawing.

and not original reporting.

You did all the work! Truly. We couldn't do what Page Six does. You know: celebrity gossip, right?

We draw from a variety of sources

Even though we heard about Page Six "exclusives" around town long before they were in print, obvi. We just didn't get around to them. Also, we won't attribute plenty of other people, so you're not alone.

But Page Six is the preeminent gossip column,

You guys are famous, and old! Mostly old.

and the place where most of these celebrities play,

And your rapport with 42 West, PMK/HBH, and every other publicist in town is formidable. You really know how to get those flacks dialing/handing you "tips"!.

so it's no surprise that many of these items are drawn from Page Six.

so it's no surprise that many of these items are drawn from Page Six.

We love Page Six.

We still won't attribute you. Thanks for the good material, scumsuckers. Eat shit and die. But no, really: we love Page Six.

Credit where credit's due: publicists are wordsmiths in their own right.