Bernie Madoff, Prison Brawler

Incarcerated real estate bellwether Bernie Madoff reportedly got into a fist-throwing prison brawl! Which could more accurately be characterized as "two elderly men poking each other angrily while discussing financial strategies." Assuming it actually happened. Gang war!

This is a New York Post exclusive from a prison snitch source—and that combo last wowed the world with the story about how Madoff has cancer, which turned out to be false. So regulate your credulousness accordingly!

Anyhow, the story goes that Madoff and another prisoner were arguing about the stock market, of all things, and the other dude shoved Bernie, and Bernie—to the surprise of all the hard rocks—shoved the dude back so hard that he fell down. Then the other dude took off like a punk! Madoff earned himself some "cred," according to the Post. It's practically a scene-by-scene reenactment of American Me up in there! And what horrific gang violence is coming now that Bernie set it off?

The next day, Madoff and his attacker, described by inmates as a white male over 60 years old, made up and were spotted hanging out together.

Outstanding. Until another paper gets its act together and starts bribing those prison snitches as well as the Post does, we'll have to take their word for it.

Please God let the Black Guerilla Family recruit Bernie Madoff.
[Pic: Getty]