CBS News: Just Forget About Letterman

Where was CBS on that whole David Letterman affair scandal, hmmm?? Oh yea: They were airing hours upon hours Letterman's own explanations of it. Which were masterful. Now, CBS News wants to get to the bottom of it. Meh. Don't.

The NYO says that Armen Keteyian is out bulldog-reporting the story already, upholding the integrity of the news side and whatnot. Why? First of all, CBS is hopelessly, hopelessly conflicted, Chinese wall or not. Digging up serious dirt on the network's biggest late night star just doesn't pay. Second, the scandal's already been—and will continue to be—overcovered by the other networks, and the tabloids, and everyone else. Third, see point one. The only three possible outcomes to a CBS News investigation:

1. They turn up pretty much the same stuff as everyone else, meaning it was a waste of time.
2. They turn up more dirt that makes Letterman look bad, meaning they screw their own network. In this case, their report either gets censored to some degree by the corporate types, or they run it as is and still get accused of pulling punches due to a conflict of interest, because they do in fact have one.
3. They turn up dirt that makes Letterman's accuser (also a CBS employee!) look bad, and get accused of trying to help Letterman out.

So, just skip it, guys. Have you looked into baby kangaroos? People love that shit.
[Pic: AP]