Time to Eat the Recession Trend Stories We Canned in the Spring

The Way We Live Now: Lightheaded, from exhaustion. We can only survive on boiled shoe leather so long before our faculties grow weak. We got no home. We suck at crime. We've been reduced to recycling our own trend stories.

Here in New York, housing the poor is just a self-satisfying way of wasting time, like running on the treadmill. During Bloomberg's tenure the city's created more than 70,000 low income housing units. But the market, capitalism, gentrification, the rich, you, have caused 200,000 low income housing units to be lost.

What is the point, even? All this work is like trying to empty the ocean with a bucket, and it burns precious calories which could be expended in the search for more calories, to sustain us during these tough times. American brains are clearly enfeebled, probably by a diet consisting only of 99 cent "value meal" asbestos lead paint burgers. What's the point of a rising crime rate if our criminals are getting worse? A man arrested with a bag of weed stuck to his forehead. A robber calling his victim and asking for his wallet back, which he dropped during the robbery. And fake lottery winners disappointing us, as they always do.

We're all poor, dumb, and malnourished. Now they tell us canning is back. Yea? Well canning was back five months ago. We've run out of pseudotrends. These are the bad times.
[Pic via]