Euphemism in advertising officially died this decade. Nothing is just "squeezably soft" any more; it's all "your bottom" this, and "tush" that, and "our product is superior when it comes to removing poop from your butt."

Andrew Adam Newman reports: Corporations are helping you, the consumer, learn that your butt could probably use a little wet wipe down there, if you know what the corporation is saying.

"It's a pretty straightforward way of speaking to consumers and letting them know how best to use the products together to get cleaner," said Jack Rubin, a Charmin brand manager. "To my knowledge it is the most clearly that we have laid it out so far."

Any clearer and it's called "kink."

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at .