While the best newspapers in America fret over whether to charge to read their websites, the other end of the newspaper spectrum is charging ahead: Starting next week, it will cost you $5 a week to read Newsday.com. Hahahaha. Ha.

Sure, you could just read any of the many other superior sites covering New York metro news, national news, political news, sports news, and/ or business news. But yo: Do you really want to miss stories like these, all in one place, with the option of a "quick read?" Sign up today.

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.