More Halloween Costumes to Avoid

Apparently no one was listening the first time we went over this because now there is Balloon Boy costume for sale. Don't you dare! We also have some other played-out ideas to add to the list.

Do you still need proof of how many other Balloon Boys you'll run into if you go through with your oh-so-original-and-topical costume idea? There's a company that want to rush you a Balloon Boy costume. If you want to be one of the legions wearing this thing — and can't find any mylar and hangers laying around — it will only cost you $20 and your dignity.

And since we've had some time to think about it (and some great suggestions from the commenters) we came up with some more outfits that you shouldn't bother getting together unless you want to be dressed like everyone else.

More Halloween Costumes to Avoid

Lady Gaga
Why Not: We love her dedication to her look, but no one can do Gaga like Gaga. Plus, half of gay New York has already bought all the cheap wrap-around sunglasses to encrust with rhinestones, so it's going to be hard to pull off. And Gaga never looks the same twice, so there isn't one iconic look. No, you do not get bonus points for attaching a dildo to your costume and going as Lady Gaga's penis.
Safe Alternative: Madonna
What You Need to Make It: Madge from any era is a timeless costume. It will work every year. The easiest look to pull off would be from the red-haired, purple-leotarded Confessions on a Dance Floor era, but it will be a little dated. Just give a friend a unibrow and some '80s togs and you have your own Lourdes Leon accessory!

More Halloween Costumes to Avoid

The Gosselins
Why Not: Kate Gosselin wigs are already sold out, and going as dumpy Jon in Ed Hardy with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth isn't very inventive either. People will just mistake you for a frat boy who didn't bother dressing up for Halloween. Also: since these two entered the public consciousness as a joke, making fun of them isn't subversive. It's hive-inducing.
Safe Alternative: Grown-up, fucked-up Gosselin kid
What You Need to Make It: There are so many ways you can take this. Maybe dress up as an attention-craving porn star Hannah. Maybe a washed-up junkie Joel. Psycho, straight jacket twins Mady and Cara? Yes and yes. Let your imagination run as wild as these kids will be living in about 10 years.

More Halloween Costumes to Avoid

Any Real Housewife
Why Not: There are plenty to choose from, but there will be packs of girls and gays who are going to get together and do this as a group. We even heard of an entire party themed around the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Besides, on Halloween some fake tits, tight dress, blond wig, and a bad attitude won't make you stand out.
Safe Alternative: Kim Zolciak's wig
What You Need to Make It: Take a whole lot of cheap blond weave hair, and just glue it to some clothing. Be sure to buy a cheap wig to wear on your own head, and some red lipstick. But be careful, I like this idea so much, I might steal it for myself.