We keep telling you which Halloween costumes to avoid, but we wouldn't be very servicey if we didn't offer up some suggestions, now would we? So, before you hit Halloween Headquarters this weekend, here is a list of Gawker-approved ideas.
If you want to show up at a party wearing something totally unique—unlike the hordes of Balloon Boys, Gosselins, and zombies—here are a few inspirations for you. Not everyone may get it, but if you have to explain it, that's a great way to meet people. See, we're here to make sure you look good and get laid. How servicey is that!
All but one of these ideas came right from you, the readers, and we just stole them from the comments of our last two Halloween posts and fleshed them out a bit. Thanks for the effort, and sorry if we ruined your concept by putting it out there for the world to copy.
Think you can do better? The comments are open!
Costume: McKinsey Executive
What You'll Need: A power suit, covered in fake blood. Old copies of Gourmet, Cookie, and Domino with a knife through them.
Works Best For: Media Insiders, those collecting severance from Conde.
Recommended By: Former English Major
Costume: Ernie Anastos the Fox New York anchor who coined the phrase "Keep Fucking that Chicken."
What You'll Need: A suit, and a whole raw chicken, attached to the crotch of your pants. To go that extra mile, get some bad face work done.
Works Best For: Carnivores, men.
Recommended By: HamburgerHotdog
Costume: Glee's Sue Motherfucking Sylvester
What You'll Need: A short blond wig, a track suit, a whistle, a protein shake, no uterus, and a ton of bitch quips.
Works Best For: Lesbians, gay guys, theater dorks, Gleeks.
Recommended By: NotSewFast
Costume: John Fitzgerald Page, the worst person in the world
What You'll Need: Just like BettyCrocker said, "'80s prepwear (yellow suspenders, cufflinks shaped like $$) and a total lack of self-awareness."
Works Best For: Gawker diehards, frat boys.
Recommended By: BettyCrocker
Costume: Mary Murphy, the exuberant judge on So You Think You Can Dance
What You'll Need: Fake tan, a brunette wig, a tacky outfit, a loud scream, and a miniture "hot tamale train" to circle your head.
Works Best For: Reality show fiends.
Recommended By: Spirit Fingers
Costume: Anna Wintour in line to see the The September Issue
What You'll Need: Tight jeans, loafers, Fashion's Night Out T-shirt, sunglasses, bob wig. Bonus points for a snake coat or bringing a friend dressed as Grace Coddington to laugh at you.
Works Best For: PR girls, skinny people, those with a mean glint in their eye.
Recommended By: Brian Moylan
[Image via Getty]