Tasers Now Come In Shotguns, Special Edition "Walls" Of Tase-tainmentS

Taser technology's evolving! A mere three-pronged shocker's got nothing on a taser shotty. Ba-blaw! Bang bang! If only that were all. You kids protesting globalization and world economic summits, we've got a new present for you, too: a TASER WALL.

Intrepid cNet reporter Caroline McCarthy went out to the desert to hang out with some TaserBros, and by TaserBros, I mean "The Alameda County Sheriff's Office." They introduce her to the pictured X12 Something Or Other Killer Death Shotgun. The gentleman assisting McCarthy helpfully notes that what's so awesome and neat about the X12 DeathShotty is that it only accepts ammunition for a Taser, so you know, god forbid somebody confuses the Bumblebee Shitspinner with an actual shotgun, they won't be able to pump Grade A American Lead into those pussyass kids screaming about the whales or whatever. Just voltage, pure and simple.

If only that were all. They also exhibit a shockingly awesome (heh) Wall of Tase, which, from what I can tell, works like this: say your little brother has some friends over and they're being real fuckers. You set up two "walls" on each side of the garage, facing each other. You coax them, in your driveway, to come back in the house. As they walk through the garage, you hit the trigger, and BA-BLAW! All nine of those little gremlins are now on the ground, unable to steal your weed. For extra fun, make them eat a bunch of popcorn kernels and see if you can get them to pop post-consumption.

So yes! Taser technology isn't going anywhere; in fact, it's getting cooler than ever. Kinda makes you sentimental for an old-fashioned nightstick beatdown, though, doesn't it? Sigh. Those were the good ol' days.