The Swine Flu is either a excuse to declare martial law and enslave the white race, or it is genetically engineered plague with no cure. Either way, isn't it convenient that President Obama's daughters haven't been vaccinated?

Because, as we all know, the h1n1 vaccine is a big-government brain control plot. Or it is a money-making scam by Big Pharma. Or it is the mist from the Stephen King book. Or the thing the Others inject you with in Lost. Whatever it is, it will definitely give you autism. That is basically proven, now, because otherwise why wouldn't Sasha and Malia have gotten vaccinated yet? Just because there is a shortage of vaccines and children with impaired immune systems are receiving vaccines first?

(Or maybe they haven't been vaccinated yet because Michelle reads the section of The Huffington Post that is about lady issues and health and also there is a lot, seriously a lot, about how vaccines will kill you.)

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.