Harvard Has a Little Poison Coffee ProblemS

Somebody tried to kill a bunch of lab workers at Harvard Medical School two months ago, with deadly poison. This is just coming out now, because Harvard does not want you to know about its deadly coffee machines.

Back in August, six lab workers drank coffee from the same coffee machine, and each fell ill almost immediately. One even passed out. They were all treated at the hospital. Investigators found that the coffee had been spiked with sodium azide, a preservative used in the labs that oh by the way is deadly. This news didn't come out until yesterday, when the Boston Herald broke the story. But hey, maybe this was just some sort of accident thing?

"An accident? Sodium azide is a poison," said David M. Benjamin, a toxicologist and Chestnut Hill-based clinical pharmacologist. "Absolutely not."

Whoa, okay, excuse us! Not everyone here is a toxicologist, Mr. Benjamin. Harvard is still being weirdly tight-lipped about the investigation of, ahem, Attempted Murder Most Foul. For PR reasons, doubtlessly—they saw what happened at Yale in the Annie Le case. Although they do note they're "installing more security cameras" in the medical school. So if you med students are gonna fuck there, fuck quick.
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