Yes You Were Tortured and Forced Into Prostitution, But at Least You Don't Have to Go to Work

The Way We Live Now: To the extreme. We will sell ourselves for food. We will torture someone over loan modifications. We will make an entire nation too broke to afford McDonald's. What a seductive lifestyle!

In the average major American city, there are hundreds upon hundreds of teenage girls working as prostitutes.

In Los Angeles, two loan modification agents were lured to a house, tied up, and beaten for hours by several people. "The two allegedly sought loan modification assistance from the victims but believed that nothing was being done and wanted their money back," according to the district attorney's office.

In Iceland, you can no longer get McDonald's. The company is pulling out of the entire country after Iceland's currency collapse.

Yes You Were Tortured and Forced Into Prostitution, But at Least You Don't Have to Go to Work

Any one of those facts could make you spend your last $1.37 on a piece of scrap metal that could be fashioned into a suicide implement using a little All-American gumption. But try to put things in perspective. You think teenage prostitutes, torture-charges soon-to-be-evictees, and McNuggetless Icelanders have it bad? It could be worse. You could get a job. Then you'd have to stop maxin and relaxin and going to the gym at noon and playing video games and all that good unemployed shit. People with jobs: the real victims.

When do we get our sympathy?
[Pic: Flickr]