Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

The Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is taking bets on which celebrity will be the next to turn their backs on L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta leads the pack at 9:4 odds, and Tom Cruise is at 50:1. Place your markers.

Do you think Paul Haggis' public defection opened the floodgates? Put your money where your mouth is. Lines are only open on 11 seemingly randomly chosen Scientology celebs. If any of these people do publicly renounce Scientology, some tabloid reporters are going to make a lot of money on it if they find out first. Here's our handicapping, such as it is:

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

John Travolta, 9:4
Rumors are swirling in the wake of his admission, contrary to Scientology dogma, that autism exists, and that his deceased son Jett suffered from it. But Travolta doubled down on the cult in July, announcing through his rep that he would be a Scintologist "now and forever," which basically means he knows that if he leaves his former co-religionists will leak all the gay-sounding stuff he said during his auditing sessions.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Katie Holmes, 3:1
We sort of doubt it, since she probably wants to see her daughter again.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Lisa Marie Presley, 4:1
Perhaps. We got a tip not long ago that Presley had blown the church, but her rep denied it. Again, they have files on her—and all of their members—which makes this whole exercise slightly academic. Maybe it would be more fruitful to bet on which vicious rumors will soon begin circulating about Paul Haggis.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Jason Lee, 6:1
Scientology gave him his career, and it can take it away. So no.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Priscilla Presley, 8:1
She and Lisa Marie will probably stay or go together.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Chaka Khan, 10:1
Huh. Who knew?

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Nancy Cartwright, 12:1
Long odds are deserved—the Simpsons actor gave $10 million to the church just two years ago.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Brandy, 14:1
There are internet rumors that she turned her back on the church after a 2006 car accident. Combine that with the long odds, and she might be the best bet.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Beck, 18:1
Beck grew up in the church, as did his wife. So he's more likely to view the current trouble rocking the cult as a crisis in his religion that needs to be addressed rather than proof that it is, indeed, a cult.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Kirstie Alley, 25:1
She reacted to Paul Haggis' defection on Twitter in true Scientology style, by denying everything he said. So she's in for the long haul.

Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology

Tom Cruise, 50:1
Stranger things have happened.

CORRECTION: We initially described Paddy Power as a British bookmaker. It's actually an Irish company.


[Via New Humanist.]