Everything I Know About the Criminal Justice System I Learned from Tonight's Episode of CSI

According to a recent study by researchers at Purdue, people who watch television crime dramas have a distorted view of the criminal justice system. Hopefully the view that tonight's episode of CSI provides is as distorted as these researchers claim.

Because what we learned tonight is that people in the criminal justice system sit around all day looking for pubes in other people's teeth. Come on, Crime Scene Investigators: If you looked hard enough, you could find pubic hair in anyone's teeth.