You Have a Future in Garbage

The Way We Live Now: Absolutely fabulous, thank you very much! When you said "we," you were referring to well-timed Ford investors and university presidents, correct? Oh, you mean everyone. They're all in the garbage business, one way or another.

"Car" maker Ford Motor Company, or "FoMoCo" if you want to say it in a more snappy manner, has turned a profit! No one could be more floored than Ford, its investors, the media, and the public at large! Nobody thought they were worth a poot! But they are. They made a billion in cash, so if you were dumb enough to invest in Ford, congrats!

And let's not forget university presidents. Twenty three of them make a million bucks a year. As well they should! Particularly the top three best compensated, the presidents of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Suffolk University, and the University of Tulsa, the traditional "Big Three" of American collegiate education.

Of course, there are other opportunities out there to make ca$$$h. You can move to Philly and take New York's garbage. You can become a microbiologist and figure out lucrative new ways to divert waste from garbage. You can import cheap fake Native American jewelry, which is garbage.

All you garbagemen wish you had taken that university presidency gig when it was offered, don't you? Live and learn. And eat garbage.