It's been quite a day for Levi Johnston. First Page Six speculated about the size of his wang, and now he is furious with NBC over a skit Conan and William Shatner did based on his fake Twitter account.
First of all, Levi doesn't seem like the kind of guy who isn't in on his own joke. We're surprised that he didn't go on The Tonight Show himself to do the bit—and if Conan didn't ask him to, well, then he's stupider than NBC for putting Leno on every night at 10. Anyway, TMZ reports that Levi's lawyer, Rex Jones, has asked for a retraction because of the skit (full video below) where William Shatner, in patented hip cat poetry reading persona, reads supposedly real dispatches from Levi Johnston's dubious Twitter account.
We've believed for some time that the account is fake, and now Butler is claiming that we were right all along and is demanding NBC apologize for claiming there were the real tweets of Sarah Palin's nemesis. To NBC we say, first of all the account wasn't verified, so it was going out on a limb to say it was real. Second of all, duh! Levi may be a little daft, but he's not the asshole who sent those tweets.
As far as his infamous Playgirl shoot goes, we learned from the online publication that they finally got a signed contract delivered today. Now they only have a week to plan all the details of the shoot, which is supposedly going down on the 13th. Playgirl spokesperson Daniel Nardicio says that they're in talks with longtime staff photographer Greg Weiner—the latest to join the porn-named squad of Levi Johnston, Tank Jones, and Rex Butler—to be the lensman. They'll most likely be shooting at a well-known gym as well as a famous hotel and in a studio. Levi gets into town this Friday, so keep your eyes open for him around town. As for what Page Six had to say about the size of Levi's hockey stick, Nardicio isn't too worried. "We've never spoken to Levi about the size of his penis and trust me, we have no concerns as to whether it's big enough and if we did, we wouldn't be telling Page Six about it."
When talking to Page Six, Levi's svengali Tank Jones might have gone back on his previous statement that Levi would definitely be naked for the shoot, but we're ignoring that. Now that there has been so much chatter about the size of the rifle he's hunting with, he has to show to save face. If he doesn't everyone will say that the claims about it being small were right. We can't wait to judge for ourselves.
[Illustration by Steven Dressler]