Frugality Is the New...Hey, Stocks Are Back!

The Way We Live Now: Frugally. Frugality is the new "Buzzword," for both rich and poor! It makes rich people sound good, and for poor people...well, it's necessary, really. Doesn't mean you can't be fabulous, though! The rich, we mean.

Dow Jones Hits 52-Week High! Dow Jones Hits 52-Week High! Dow Jones Hits 52-Week High!

We just thought that deserved announcing.

Now, on to frugality! America's favorite thing! The WSJ tells us that frugality is not just some passing "fad," you stupid, stupid fools. It's here to stay. If I ever see another American buy toilet paper or dog food in anything less than a 50-pound pallet, for frugality's sake, I will smack myself right across the face and look around for the god damn Candid Camera. It simply is not happening, friends.

Frugality means saving money, and saving money means having money. And once you've poured all you can into the vertical roller coaster ride that is the stock market, what is there to do with that money? That's right, you can use it to order yourself a rotating cast of haute couture items from a Netflix-like service, proving you are both stylish and frugal, and therefore fit to run for Congress.

Or you could buy Cadbury. Just don't be profligate.

Wall Street! Ride that pony!