Funemployment: Just About Over

Funemployment! It has been the exclusive province of not just the rich, but also those lucky bastards who received the mythical "severance pay." So how are those severance checks holding up now, hmmmm?

Paul Joegriner hasn't worked since March 2008, when he was laid off from his $200,000-a-year job as chief executive officer of a small bank. But you wouldn't know it by appearances.

His wife, Marzena, shuttles their two young children to private school every morning. The family recently vacationed in Virginia Beach, Va., and likes to dine on Porterhouse steaks

Steaks! Sunny Virginia Beach! It is all just as fleeting as the pleasure afforded by a soothing shot of heroin. Because as Mary "Intern Mary" Pilon ably points out in the WSJ today, all those fat, funemployment-funding severance checks are running out after months of joblessness. Regular old unemployment checks will be running out soon enough, too! So if you're a typical bitter struggling member of the creative underclass for whom both "severance" and "Funemployment" are both rage-inducing, untouchable fantasies, take heart in the schadenfreude provided by the stories of the once-affluent who fell so fast, so hard, so dumb. One 50 year-old ad exec married a 32 year-old woman in a $40k wedding, had a baby on the way, and was promptly laid off. So he did the prudent thing:

Although their rent was cheaper, Mr. Hipsher says the family continued to spend like before. They moved with three cars — two BMWs and a Chevy Silverado. They continued to buy cases of $36-a-bottle wine. They spent $250 a month on a cleaning lady, and Mr. Hipsher dropped $50 a week on flowers for his wife. The couple still dined out regularly.

Now that's all gone (including the wedding ring), and the couple is $70k in debt. Feel better now? Funemployment is for the weak. Bask in your poverty. It makes you tough. For when shit really gets bad. Like now!
[Pic via]