Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever NeedS

Lynsee and Anders welcomed darling daughter Solveig into the world by aiming a webcam at unmentionable parts of her mother's anatomy and livestreaming her birth, making her the youngest oversharer in the history of the internet.

Unspeakable perverts and frightening hippies will be disappointed to hear there was no spread-eagle shot of little Solveig crowning, but everything else is legit enough to turn horny teens off sex forever, if only because the phrase "birth livestream" is really starting to gross me out. Lynsee is strangely placid as the baby is emerging. (Apparently she got an epidural.) But when the nurse plops a scrunchy-faced, goo-smeared Solveig onto her chest, and the presence of a multi-limbed being that was, until mere moments ago, thrashing around her vagina totally freaks her out. Anyway, here's the video. The excitement starts around 8:30.


And thus, with a grunt, a shriek, and an unceremonious plop, sticky little Solveig outdid every single oversharing ego-blogger on the planet in the first five seconds of her life. Congrats, Solveig, you are the Miracle Baby of Generation TMI. I'd say you'll never live this down, but Spencer Pratt skipped his vasectomy and Nadya Suleman's always a wildcard, so don't count your nanny cam endorsements, just yet.

UPDATE: I— oh my god— apparently witnessing the miracle of Solveig's birth answered none of my questions about how babies are made, because this post originally identified Solveig as a boy. But Solveig is a girl. All I can say is, as soon as this child learns how to type her name into a search engine, she's totally screwed. At least she's adorable?