Supreme Court Justice Censors High School Newspaper's Puff Piece About HimS

Cherry on the cake? It was famed defender of the First Amendment Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, and fancy-pants Manhattan prep school Dalton's class rag.

It all began with a mysterious note from the editors of The Daltonian, The New York Times explains:

"We are not able to cover the recent visit by a Supreme Court justice due to numerous publication constraints," the note said. It promised "an explanation of the regrettable delay" in the next issue.

Apparently Justice Kennedy spoke at a Dalton assembly, and his office insisted that school give Kennedy final approval on any article the little rugrats put together on him—then sent back a revision with "a couple of minor tweaks" and "tidied up" quotations. Enraged, Dalton's student civil liberties union took to the streets, smashing the windows of nearby Bentleys and littering the streets of the Upper East Side with Molotov cocktails, until their sassy schoolgirl uniforms were rended from their sweaty, heaving chests and their ranks swelled into a wildly fevered, anarchic orgy!

Just kidding. They're college-obsessed teenagers with parents who would totally ground them if they screwed up their chance at Harvard over some silly SCOTUS spat. (Besides! Maybe your censor from Justice Kennedy's office can give you some pointers about summer internships.) They're doing whatever their school's PR department tells them to do, which is apparently to go with "no comment" when NYT comes calling, and to let the responsible adults in the room issue gracious statements about the pedagogical value of factchecking. Besides, the ability to keep your publication friendly with the powers that be is a skill that comes in handy in journalism these days!