The Way We Live Now: On the move. There is nothing tethering us to this dusty, tortured, goforsaken country any more—no jobs, no safety, no prospects. Once we hit the lottery or rob somebody or something, hello, vacation!

Tell us, Nomadic Family Traveler Jeanne Dee, how is it that you live your whole life just traipsing about the world with your family, on some sort of nonstop vacation? The answer is "budgeting." For just $25K per year off savings and investments, these people hopscotch about the globe while all the youth of England lay around like bumps on a log without any jobs and nobody in Iraq can make a dollar unless they're blackmailing Blackwater for it.

Also now's not a bad time for a luxury Caribbean vacation. Just FYI.

Who cares if burglaries are down because everyone is home, unemployed? Right here in the US of motherfucking A, the average Joe can't get one of the scant few jobs just because of a 20 year-old conviction for threatening two bums with a hairbrush, which was totally self-defense. If you'd been carrying a US Army ID card, you never would have had a problem in the first place, because muggers would let you off scott free, because of patriotism and a kinship between killers.

Unless you are personally named Norris Henry, 76 year-old Rikers Island guard turned New York Lottery winner, I feel pity for you in this time of economic woe, in America. If it makes you feel any better, China's looking just fine. Go there. Call it a vacation. Never come back.
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Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.