Every Time You Wear Bamboo Clothing, a Dolphin Dies

Supposedly eco-friendly cloth made from bamboo is in fact evil and made with toxic chemicals and you might as well wear panda-hide while driving a Humvee and shooting rockets at pretty little birdies.

The Wall Street Journal finds out that, though everyone makes nice and pretends that bamboo is good for the planet as well as being soft and nice and healthy, it is basically the same as rayon. The Federal Trade Commission is close to settling cases it brought against manufacturers:

The companies had used language such as "natural," "biodegradable," and "antimicrobial." But bamboo fabric isn't natural, the FTC said, since it's a textile developed by chemists. The agency also said the biodegradable and antimicrobial qualities of the plant don't survive the manufacturing process.

Oh, and it also sucks as a material. Hand me my viscose shirt please.