Lions Gate Declares Its War on Big Screen Entertainment Will Never End

After the recent tepid results of the sixth installment in the Saw series we held was some mad hope that this particular wave of yuckiness might be at an end and the era of self-dismemberment filmmaking might be behind us.

But in a conference speech yesterday, Michael Burns, the Vice-Chairman of Lion's Gate dispelled any fantasies we may have had that the torture quotient in our multiplexes would be lowered any time soon, saying Saw is here to stay, and while they are at it, that Lion's Gate has no intention of abandoning it's campaign to destroy entertainment. Burns told the , there will be a Saw 7 and that the Tyler Perry machine will continue assaulting comedy until the end of time.

The Hollywood Reporter quotes Burns speaking slyly of Saw's status:

Despite a disappointing performance by Saw VI, which Burns attributed to getting "buzz-sawed" at the boxoffice by Paranormal Activity, he said it was full steam ahead on the seventh installment, which will be in 3D.

"As long as we make money on it we'll keep doing this," he said, pointing out that such franchises tend to have a long shelf life across different platforms. Dirty Dancing, he pointed out, still sells 2,000 DVDs a day for the company, and that's after 20 years.

We have to hand it to Lions Gate, the unholy alliance of torture porn and the most-useless, money-extorting innovation of the past decade — 3D — might just be the giant leap forward we've been waiting for to crush audience's desire for creativity and life once and for all, after which, there would be nothing to stand in the way of a thousand reign of Saw films.

Burns also vowed that Tyler Perry's crusade to erase the last vestiges of comedy from the cinema would continue until the last comic standing, referring to Perry as a machine and taunting the assembled media savants with the threat of new Madea insallments.

Burns however, cleared up confusion about Perry's legal status, confirming he still enjoys the full freedom due an American citizen. "He's not an indentured servant," Burns explained, confirming that Perry enjoys the freedom to pursue non-Lion projects.