So, here at SNL Digest, we're trying to have a hopeful, kind conversation about a show—and a tradition—we hold dear, the slope of its decline regardless. But last night's January Jones episode? One word: disaster. How disaster-y?
Now, here's how we talk about SNL when we talk about SNL. These be the rules:
Standardized Responses for SNL Threads.
1. SNL is still on?
2. I might have to watch this SNL sometime.
3. SNL hasn't been funny since _____ (insert name) was president.
4. The Tina Fey era was the (Choose one:) Best/ Worst.
5. (Canadians/Brits/Aussies:) You Americans can't say Fuck on the telly?
6. (Me, other Oldes:) Jane Curtin/ Dan Aykroyd - now there was a Weekend Update.
7. And I remember when Charles Rocket said Fuck. I got on my Commodore computer and typed a letter about it.
Normally this comes with the advisory of "don't be that guy." But last night's episode was so bad—so terribly awkward and painfully unfunny—I can't exactly blame anyone who contravenes house style, here. Should I even bother embedding some of the skits? It's not like we should condone this kind of awfulness. It's bad for the economy, for fucks sake. I considering doing this for a while, because it's patently lazy and relieves me of having to do any real work. On the other hand, this is about as authentic an assement of last night's episode of Saturday Night Live as you could probably get.
From last night's comment thread, live. And these are the Weekend Commenteratti being kind. It's like a linguistic Faces of Death, Comedy Edition. These are authentic reactions of complete, absolute, real horror:
- "You know, I started watching this with an open mind, determined not to be one of those "SNL sucks" snobs, but...This "Grace Kelly farting" thing is the worst piece of sketch comedy I've ever seen in my life. And I don't think that's an exaggeration. It's heinous." - MisterHippity. Also, this.
- "It was fucking PAINFUL." - mattchew03.
- "Dear God, please make it stop. This Rear Window skit is absolutely awful. I wondered if SNL was going to waste January Jones. Guess I got my answer." - OrneryBabe
- "Normally I defend SNL to the death, but good lord, this episode is painful to watch. I haven't been this embarrassed to be a fan of the show since Paris Hilton hosted. And January Jones's sucky cue-card reading isn't helping." - VioletViolet
- "I thought nothing could be worse than a Grace Kelly farting sketch, but I was wrong." - sweet_communist
- "This is the worst fucking episode ever, I think we may be watching history, bad, bad history." - TheProfessor69
Starting to get the idea?
Oh, and if it wasn't bad enough, from a deeply traumatized commenter, DahlELama:
OK, if you're watching SNL, you just saw Julia Allison. You can't pretend you didn't. I will not be the only one who's seen her onscreen. I can't be.
Yeah. They ran a Julia Allison commercial for Sony during SNL. Last night's SNL. And the Black Eyed Peas were the musical guest. Poor Fergie. First, Josh Duhamel does it with a stripper, and then she gets screwed by SNL by being on this episode. I'm going to take this moment to apologize to anyone who I might've suggested watch last night. I feel guilty. For the sake of history, let's learn from how bad this one was. The "good" skits don't even deserve to be talked about.
Here's your "Grace Kelly Farting" Rear Window skit. Reminder: jokes about Jimmy Stewart haven't been funny since Tom Hanks started acting. And jokes about farting haven't been funny since I was fourteen. Watch how January Jones breaks character at 4:55 and laughs. Probably because she thinks this is funny. Which is maybe why they went with it.
Here's a Digital Short where Fred Armisen keeps walking in on Andy Samberg taking a shit. I'm serious.
Like, honestly, no, fuck that, we're done here. See you next week, I think Dave Matthews Band is going to be on. Let's all get drunk and hope they play "Ants Marching," which, of course, they won't do. Lorne Michaels, you are mean. Especially considering the irony of this being the episode's musical centerpiece. I have no idea about the video's watermark, but it's somehow appropriate: