The Inalienable Right to Smoke

Several large NYC landlords are moving to ban smoking inside their own apartment complexes, and on the sidewalks outside them, as well. Clearly, this violates our just-made-up list of Places People Can Always Smoke, No Takebacks.

• Your Own Apartment: You can't smoke in your own apartment? Get the fuck outta here. You live in a dorm? No? Get the fuck outta here.
• The Sidewalk Outside Your Apartment: They tried to just sneak that in with the apartment ban, as if it wouldn't make people quadruple times as mad.
• Any Other Sidewalk: If someone smoking on a sidewalk bothers you, stop standing directly in front of them and sucking the smoke from the tip of their cigarette into a large hose attached to your mouth. That's bad for you.
• The Park: There is so much fresh air out there. Come on.
• Concerts: Other than, you know, the Symphony Orchestra. Any concert venue without chairs, definitely. Hardcoreness demands it.
• Your Car: Open the windows to be nice.
• Anywhere Else Where There Is No Physical Barrier Between the Tip of Your Cigarette and The Sky: It's all about dispersion.

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.

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