Those of Us Who Aren't Killed and Eaten Have a Bright Economic Future

The Way We Live Now: Rearranging the fundamental tenets of reality until everything is just fine. GM's losing billions, which is a huge success. Our wallets have totally disappeared, which is a mark of progress. We're cannibalizing each other. Delicious!

Here's the lead to a news story: "General Motors said on Monday that its finances had improved to the point that..." It was profitable? No, finances have improved to the point that it lost $1.15 billion in the third quarter.

Wonderful!

Money has disappeared. There is no money. Nobody has money. We are all completely without money. But now thanks to PayPal technology, your "digital wallet" "lives in a cloud."

Good!

As long as most economists have lived, Mexicans have come to America to do the shitty jobs that Americans don't want so they can send money back home. Now, the employment situation in America is so atrocious that impoverished rural Mexicans are selling off their livestock in order to raise money to send to their relatives here in America, so they don't starve to death.

Invisible Hand!

In Moscow, the homeless are mastering economics and nutrition all at once: "Three homeless men ate parts of a 25-year-old man they had butchered and sold other bits of the corpse to a kebab restaurant."

Entrepreneurial!

Looks like everything's fine.