For over a decade, the world has waited for James Cameron's follow up to Titanic. But now that Avatar has at last arrived how are we to prepare ourselves for the fact that it might be godawful?
There is little more dangerous than a director pursuing his dream project. One thinks of such classic catastrophes as Coppola's One From the Heart, Scorsese's New York, New York or Spielberg's 1941. A director with too much freedom and a dream can lead to Citizen Kane or it can lead to The Phantom Menace. And thus far, all available signs point down the Phantom Menace path.
For starters, as has been widely commented upon, there are the distressingly Jar Jar Binks-like aliens which populate the planet where the film is set. There is the obsession with technology and its, um, various uses.
And then in the little glimpses we've seen such as the clip below, there are those nagging hints of all those things that made Titatnic so cringeworthy when it wasn't busy drowning people: two-fisted ham-handed over-acting, a laughable two-dimensional good versus evil plotline to tie together all the explosions, dialogue like "every living thing wants to kill you and eat your eyes for Jujubees," and characters named things like Colonel Miles Quaritch, Trudy Chacon, Selfridge, Neytiri and Jake Sully.
And through it all these distractingly zany looking blue cartoons with big cat noses marching around.
Well, perhaps it will all look a lot better in 3D, but in the meantime, we should all strap in and prepare for what could well turn out to be the worst movie you have ever felt obliged to see.
Watch the clip below and see if you don't get that "Uh oh" feeling in the pit of your stomach.