Court: 'F— the Police'S

In perhaps the greatest American legal decision since "A Book Named 'John Cleland's Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure' v. Attorney General of Massachusetts," a Pittsburgh court awarded a man $50,000 for flicking off a cop.

The historic scene that would lead to the heartwarming act of jurisprudence went down like this: Dave Hackbart was just trying to fucking parallel park in Pittsburgh one day in 2006. Then some other asshole drive pulled up and blocked him from parking. So Dave flicks the guy off, obviously. Then some other asshole driver "objected to the gesture," so Dave flicked him off, too.

Dave don't take shit from nobody.

Turns out the second asshole driver was a fucking cop. So of course cause cops think they're big shit, the pig gives Dave a citation for "disorderly conduct." And of course he's found guilty and fined, cause the courts and the cops are all in the shit together.

But Dave's not just your average sucker ready to bow down and get fucked by the cops like that. No sir. He sued the whole god damn city of Pittsburgh, and, god damn it, wouldn't you know, he fucking won $50,000. Let this be a lesson to every fucking cop everywhere, courtesy of Dave: Fuck you, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Dave will now get fucked by lawyers.

Of the $50,000 settlement, he will get $10,000; the rest goes to his lawyers.