Don't you just hate it when reality stars try to use their brains? The new Real World D.C. trailer suggests MTV's going to force its beautiful people to stutter about health reform, but don't worry, there's still sex and alcohol.

Based on this and their cast bios, here are the most promising characters:

  • Mike, the maybe-gay maybe-bi guy described as sexually confused in the trailer, is scheduled to become a gay rights activist mid-season. Cross fingers for a "closeted on the Hill" subplot, hopefully featuring Republicans.
  • Emily was raised in a "fundamentalist Christian cult" and is now on a "daredevil" streak, which is just screaming "crazy in-house hook-ups" and "alcohol problems," isn't it?
  • Andrew gets the most face-time in the trailer, and his bio says he's "witty," which hopefully means "bitchy bickerer." His affectations include an omnipresent panda hat and being a "local legend for his witty, often offensive, politically incorrect comics," which hopefully means disgustingly cute comic nerd romance, not endless arguments about political correctness, which are the most annoying category of discourse.