After getting into Tulane, NYU, USC, Michigan State, an Ivy, a safety school, and whatever liberal arts school you threatened your Republican parents with actually attending, there's only one you really need to worry about: Cannabis College. Bongs away.
Yes, the real Hogwarts—of Weed, naturally—actually exists, and got a wonderful New York Times feature this week in which, like every other time the New York Times tries to talk about weed, we anxiously await whatever bush league-level snickering they can sneak into the copy. Since B-Real isn't an adjunct professor, this could prove difficult for them.
The story: Med Grow Cannabis College is dedicated to informing and educating students about Michigan's new medical marijuana program, which, not a not-smart endeavor, considering the rest of the state's economy is totally cashed. The founder is—again, naturally, or rather: organically—a 24 year-old kid with entrepreneurial aspirations who's name is not Dr. Greenthumb. There's an accompanying video in which someone identifies a strain of weed in the first five minutes as "Obama Kush." And all it costs is $485 for a six-week "primer" on how to grow the best sticky on your street.
And what did the Times come through with here?
- The lede: "At most colleges, marijuana is very much an extracurricular matter."
- The title: "At this school, it's marijuana in every class."
- They labeled a video clip "Higher Schooling."
- This bizarre fill-in-the-blanks line that we're not high enough to laugh at: "....[classes share] stories of their best highs ("Smoke that and you are ... medicated!")."
Seriously, those are all the weed "jokes" the New York Times managed to pack into an entire story about a university dedicated to Anthropotogy 1010, and the total sketchballs who attend this Hempstra University. If they want to graduate Magna Chronic Laude from Notre Dank, they're gonna have to hit the bongs harder than that. Then again, maybe weed humor just isn't (in) their bag after all.