Good christ. I need a drink. So do Tiger and Brad, and probably some Secret Service guys, too. Time to pour some Saturday night open thread.

There's nothing new on Saturday Night Live tonight, but last week, there was Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and—programming decision—I decided not to run SNL Digest! Lots of other people talked about how he sang and danced and reminded them of when SNL used to be on blow, everyone, all of them, all of the time. Why ruin those memories? Anyway.

There was a lot of great discussion today on some fairly complex issues: chief among them, what's in a name, and another: the chaos involved in good intentions. Little bit of crossover there, right? So goes the story with good intentions: you can only put them where it counts, try not to be an asshole, and try to minimize the noise of the imminent noise to follow. There should be a referendum to change the idiom to "No good deed goes unfucked with." Slightly more astute, no? OH. Also: in a dictum to make weekends more family-friendly, I've only used the F-word five times today, including that. Five! Someone will probably have something not nice to say. They can suck an ass. See! Family friendly.

And speaking of well-intentioned things that people will find ways to be assy about, you've probably seen the relentlessly plugging our book auction this week. It's still going on, and it appears stuck at $710. Push it out of the mud into the thousands! Or millions! Whatever! Just spend some money on it. That said, you don't have to spend money on the book to be told you're an asshole for trying to Do The Right Thing. You can just donate, too.

And that does it, here. Tomorrow, we've got Altarcations coming at 2:30, the Glorious Return of the Seymore Hersh of the Sunday Styles (and Sarah Palin SlamBook Signee) Allen Salkin, who spent some quality time with Madonna's squeaktoy. I'm sure we'll find out more about Tiger and Operation: Lovetap (and the humorless, issue-desperate creeps who can witchhunt the color out of anything to its inevitably sordid, politically correct death). And uh, oh, yeah, if you have any interest in this kind of thing, Julia Allison is at her high school reunion, and it's kind of an enjoyable experience to watch, especially if you're a fan of Can't Hardly Wait and/or David Lynch's oeuvre.

Here's a pretty song to take us out. Tomorrow!