Humor Inherent in Ari Fleischer's Blowjob Increased Exponentially by Revelation of Blowjob-Giver

Riddle me this! What do Greenville, South Carolina, allegations of John McCain's illegitimate African American kid, Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed, and former Dubya press secretary Ari Fleischer getting a blowjob have in common? No, really: guess. Ready? So awesome:

Ralph Reed's former spokeswoman, Lisa Baron, who's writing a book. Daily News Boris and Natasha-esque gossips Rush & Molloy, you did it. You won my Sunday:

Inevitably, when people hear Baron worked for Reed during the 2000 Republican presidential primary in South Carolina (she was Lisa Gimbel then), they ask if it's true that Reed spread the false rumor that Sen. John McCain had fathered a black child.

"How would I know?" writes Baron. "I was too busy giving [George W. Bush's future press secretary] Ari Fleischer [oral sex] in a Greenville hotel room."

Humor Inherent in Ari Fleischer's Blowjob Increased Exponentially by Revelation of Blowjob-Giver

Or as R & M would have it: a "meeting of the mouthpieces." Teehee!

If you enjoy political tell-alls, this is all you need to read today. I mean, this is great stuff. Baron was involved in Jack Abramoff—Jack Abramoff!—and his campaign to become Georgia's lieutenant governor. Then, she married a 99X DJ. Now, she works at a parenting magazine and does some stuff for an Atlanta weekly. Granted, she's settled down from her wild days of being excited by the Ari Fleischer's of the world, but that doesn't mean she still can't give good anecdote:

When she met Reed, then a GOP campaign guru, his "movie-star good looks and uncanny ability to articulate conservative thoughts ... made me swoon," she writes.

Sorry, Lisa, but I believe that's pronounced #SWOON. File Under: To Buy, Books. This is the Republican version of Primary Colors and Coyote Ugly meeting in the middle. I now know what I'm getting Pareene in this year's Secret Santa. If only all 300 pages were Ali Fleischer blowjob anecdotes. Someone: get on this.